An argument for the color gray/grey.

I googled how to spell ‘gray/grey’ and Merriam Webster online indicates that ‘gray’ is the frequent American spelling whereas ‘grey’ is common in British English. Which is the correct spelling? Why can’t this be black and white?

When I do my mediations, strategic sessions or am in Court litigating a matter, I would say that gray dominates. I walk into a room and am ready for all sorts of shades to fly about my senses. My brain knows how to process in this world of gray.

I want to suggest to you that while rules matter, we need space for gray. For example, today I was on a call with a client, and she indicated that while her husband verbally did not agree to change his behavior, his actions showed otherwise. This is an example of gray. He did not verbalize to her what she wanted to her, but he did show it. She got what she wanted. Success.

When you go to Court and ask the Judge to make your ex follow the custodial schedule, and your ex says why the schedule could not be followed, you have to be prepared to work in the gray. Especially when it comes to kids and all the varieties of issues that float in and out of their lives, you have to be prepared to make adjustments. We all prefer to know what the schedule is going to be, what is for dinner, at what time, who is making it, who is buying the ingredients, who is providing the money for it, who cleans up, how, etc. But people get sick, accidents happen, last minute school projects take over, friends get involved, apps take over our kids, and the list goes on. If you stay in black and white, you’re going to be in a losing battle with yourself because life is not black and white.

In the Court room, in a meeting, wherever I am working with clients, I flex in gray so that I can best achieve the intended result. Try it out, try the gray…