Can you smell Spring? Can you?

We have all these mantras we are told to live by: “stop and smell the roses,” “don’t count your chickens before they hatch,” “appreciate what you have,” and so forth. I suppose though, after about 20 years of practicing family law primarily in Silicon Valley of Santa Clara County, with all varieties of personalities, who have all varieties of situations, today on March 23, 2022, I am reminded of the smells of Spring. I smell pink jasmine, which means I feel happiness, growth, and the opportunity for another chance. My brain wakes up with ideas and I’m excited to try them out.

I know, I know, I’m a divorce lawyer doing blogs for my website. I’m supposed to write about how to protect yourself financially, how to position yourself in litigation, what are your options, how can you protect the kids, and so forth. I am going to guess that you know how to google questions, so, I encourage you to get educated and read all the lawyer websites to get that data; they all pretty much should provide the same/similar information. Thus, why am I writing about such lofty topics as Spring and how flowers smell? I’m writing about my awareness of the smell of pink jasmine because it makes me happy and feel good. Me feeling happy and feel good is motivating. My motivation give me energy and confidence to keep learning and trying. That energy and confidence are necessary building blocks in life. Think about what in your control brings you happiness: what is your pink jasmine?

I want to encourage you to be balanced. Balance can bring you clarity and confidence in a world of confusion, which is what a divorce brings to people. By people I mean the parties involved, the children, friends, families, and even the lawyers, judges, and experts (yes, even professionals get caught in the confusion).

You aren’t going through divorce because things are working out positively in your life. Something went awry. When things go awry, the world needs you to figure out how to focus and problem solve. Balance can bring peace to you and function to bring you more of what you want in your life. You can have a heavily litigated divorce case, but you have to counter that with some sort of self-care to give you the tools to do your part to decrease the conflict and finalize your divorce. What if these tools were in place before you starting seriously dating???

Taking time away from conflict and/or your frustrations to ‘smell the pink jasmine’ also gives you space to come up with ideas on how to improve your situation. I would analogize this to putting together a 1,000 piece puzzle. Sitting at the table relentlessly trying (I just need to find that one piece, why can’t I find it, maybe it’s lost, it has to be here, why can’t I find it, over and over) to finish the puzzle is one method. Another method is taking breaks, looking at trees, doing jumping jacks, and then trying again. I can do both methods. My experience is that I finish puzzles faster and feeling better when I take breaks. What do you think?

If you are in the middle of divorce, and you feel like you are cycling like a hamster on a wheel, then you have the opportunity, this Spring, a time of growth and rebirth, to get off the wheel and shift your perspective. Get some yin to your yang and do something to help improve your situation. Stop. Smell the pink jasmine.