I'm good, like really good.

What are your talents? Are you great at singing? Wrapping presents? Being dedicated? Speaking 5 languages? Playing poker? Athletic? Working like a dog? Relaxing? Going to school? Backpacking? Good at everything? No, you’re not.

I do divorces for a living here in Silicon Valley. Silicon Valley encompasses the south bay area into the lower peninsula. There are some people here that think they are good, like really good. “Did I tell you how amazing I am? By the way, I’m amazing. I am. I’m really smart, like really talented at my particular job. I make a lot of money, like a lot.”

I’m thrilled you are good, like really good. But it’s fair that you can’t be good at everything. No one is. What I want to encourage you to accept is what you are good at and not good at. Facing what you are NOT good at is just as important as what you are good at. Why? Because when you can face what you are not so great at during a divorce, empathy, over time, will extend your way. Now, you have to stand up for yourself and participate in the process while acknowledging your plusses and minuses. When I learn the attributes of the people I work with, it helps me take it all in and build on that for the sake of the family. When people get real with me, it’s amazing what we achieve for the family.

The reality, especially with parenting, is that not all parents are the same. It’s clear that some people know how to handle children, at different stages too possibly, better than other parents. It’s just a fact. It doesn’t mean you are a good or bad person; it just means you might not be as up to speed as your partner. That’s ok. If you want what is best for your kid, then let that person take the lead, learn from that person, and grow.

The same goes with money, investing, sports, socializing, going to school, leading, empathy, and all the zillions of things that are out there. Some are better at some things than others and that’s just life. You can’t be great at everything. And, if someone is better than you, deal with it. Don’t throw a fit to compensate. Even worse, don’t lie to yourself or lie to others to show you are the same, when really you are not. If you allow others to excel where they are talented, and hopefully they give you space to excel where you are talented, then see what beauty and gifts result is being given to your children, your community and society.

My daughter makes bread better than I do. It’s just how it is. Maybe if I practice at it I can catch up to her. Until then, I’ll thank her for baking, tell her how proud of her I am, and will savor that bread she made.