Why don't they get it?

This may seem obvious, but, in general, logical straight-forward thinking goes out the door if your marriage involves abuse, mental health issues, substance abuse, enabling, secrets, violence, significant dishonesty, and the list goes on. These issues are nothing new to me. But to think your situation will all of a sudden become an ‘easy divorce’ is not realistic. It may be manageable once it starts but to assume it will be a piece of cake will not help solve your situation. 

For example: if you trusted someone for years to only learn you had been lied to for all those years, then that person is probably a good liar! Just because you are now in the ‘know’ doesn’t mean the Court or professionals involved will immediately figure it out. Even more complicated is that the ‘lie’ may not be relevant to the issues at hand. These things get tricky and experience in these areas matter.